Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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