k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
That accounts for only three of the penises
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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