I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
