she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
