garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
