I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
