There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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