end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
