your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
