your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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