Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
