I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize