you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
