Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
