my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
