Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
