I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
