Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
