I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
