I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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