We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
