we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
