I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
