Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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