put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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