Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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