I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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