Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
