dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
