those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
