Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
