im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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