Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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