Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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