My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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