Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
