obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
