He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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