She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
