i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
