She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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