remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
