I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
