Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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