Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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