She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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