i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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