i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
