Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize