I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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