I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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