I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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