i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize