She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
