So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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