he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
