turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
