Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
