How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
