we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
