using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
